


and i think of you

by hugeboymino



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Basically PWP, M/M, i had this idea for a while and oh well i'm not entirely happy but what can you do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-07 20:57:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1913562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hugeboymino/pseuds/hugeboymino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>youngjae was known for having vivid dreams.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and i think of you

**Author's Note:**

> when i finished writing this it was 5:30 am and my editing skills aren't their best at that time, also i was sad because i lost the original second part of the fic and had to rewrite the whole thing, so. expect some mistakes. i will get to them later.  
> other than that please enjoy and let me know if it's any good, since it's my first time writing boy on boy smut.
> 
> [musical](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OilPvUo2vac) [inspiration](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1-SNrbVFW0)

youngjae was known for having vivid dreams.

most of the time that was a good thing for him. he enjoyed every detail his dreams would bring to him; the new, unexplored worlds and nearly impossible situations, with people he hasn’t properly thought of in a while. sometimes he’d climb mountains with his math teacher, breathing in the fresh, unpolluted air. sometimes he’d fight dragons and sometimes he’d mount them and glide near the ocean surface, grazing the cold water with his feet, much like his dragon with its wings. he loved retelling those dreams to his friends and they loved listening about them, because the way youngjae would speak of his dreamland adventures was almost hypnotizing.

and sometimes, he’d dream of jongup.

it wasn’t intentional - it never was - youngjae assumed it was mostly triggered by something minor jongup did that day when they met up, like accidentally brushed his knee against youngjae’s and apologized for it, flashing his bunny smile. or maybe youngjae would trip on flat ground, like he was known to do regularly, and jongup would just so happen to be walking next to him and grab him by his wrist so he wouldn’t fall. 

it was unbelievable to youngjae, that his touch could be so gentle when he was obviously using enough force to stop his fall with ease. but then again, everything about jongup was improbable, unexpected. he never even assumed they’d become friends; he was a friend of a friend’s acquaintance when they met but somehow he slipped inside their little group and stayed.

youngjae didn’t mind being jongup’s friend, though. he had honestly never met a person more happy and relaxed than jongup; and only then he realized that he was missing someone like that his whole life.

but his dream-jongup was so,  _so_  much different. in his dreams - fantasies, even - jongup’s eyes were dark and mysterious and his genuine smile shifted into a cocky smirk. he’d corner youngjae and trap him between his bulky arms and whisper strange things, things that felt so wrong coming out of jongup’s mouth, yet so right. his breath was hot against his neck and his touch was nearly bruising.

and youngjae  _loved_  it.

the first time he woke up from a dream like that, his sheets soiled and underwear ruined, he experienced the biggest trip of his life. he felt dirty and embarrassed and just wanted to bury himself in the ground and never leave again. the worst part was, he couldn’t even avoid jongup to make the memories of those dreams disappear - in the meantime, jongup and daehyun had become close friends as well and daehyun would bring jongup with him whenever they went somewhere because the poor guy was too easy to talk into paying for dinner.

and somehow jongup would always end up sitting next to him, with daehyun sitting across from them, his grin teasing and almost knowing (in these moments youngjae would curse the fact that daehyun knew him inside out). their thighs would brush in constant contact because the tables were small and youngjae would have trouble taking his eyes off of jongup’s  _always_  exposed biceps and remembering the way they’d flex as he dragged his arm over youngjae’s cheeks, down his chest and - other, unmentionable places.

but the dreams kept happening. they weren’t frequent, however, and through the year of knowing him youngjae had maybe ten of them at most, but he always spent several weeks trying to forget all the small details that made his cheeks warm; jongup’s unique scent, he softness of his tanned skin, the playful twinkle in his eyes as he’d lower his head and give youngjae’s half-hard member a teasing lick. 

in the end, youngjae concluded that, as much as he enjoyed remembering the vivdness of his dreams, they were also going to be the death of him.

.

it happened during the middle of summer break, when daehyun had an incredible idea.

and youngjae knew from experience that whenever daehyun had an incredible idea, it would end up badly for him.

"why don’t we all go on a road trip?" a collective of five groans echoed around him. "no, no, hear me out. himchan, you know how to drive, right? we’ll take some money, sleep in cheap hostels we find along the way and experience great new things. it’s going to be an adventure!"

youngjae hadn’t thought it would really happen. he just assumed that everyone would brush it off as crazy talk, yet he found himself almost a week later, with some pocket money he smooched from his parents and a small bag of necessities, squished between one very tall and very awkward junhong and one overly excited jongup. 

"i still can’t believe this is happening," he said to the packed car, but no one really paid attention to him. after all, he was the youngjae who always worried a lot, who was skeptical over everything. "we are so gonna get lost. or killed. or sold to slavery."

"oh just shut up," daehyun told him from somewhere on his left; he couldn’t be sure because he was being squeezed so tight from all sides by people and backpacks he thought he might burst.

and the tingling feeling underneath his skin jongup’s touch left didn’t help either. 

it felt weird - it felt like it wasn’t reality, yet as much as he pinched himself, he wouldn’t wake up. the scenery was incredibly beautiful though, and it made this ridiculous trip just a little bit easier to bear. 

he stared at the blooming flowers, bursting with color, from bright red to pale blue, the wandering wild animals and the variety of cars passing by them on the highway. he had a habit of always checking the registration plates, curious to know how many natives and how many tourists were out there, surrounding them, leading their own lives, so different yet so similar to his own.

"what are you thinking about?" jongup asked him, his voice too close to his ear and raspy from being quiet too long. it took him by surprise and he flinched visibly, but jongup didn’t seem to notice. 

when he faced him, there was genuine curiosity in the younger’s eyes, curiosity that made him be honest. “i’m thinking about how this is all very weird, but that, strangely enough, i don’t entirely dislike it.”

he got a wide grin in response which made his heart do somersaults. the sudden desire to grab jongup by the hair on the nape of his neck and pull him in for a bruising kiss was overwhelming, so he just smiled back at him instead.

the thought hadn’t left him until they reached the first hostel.

they booked two rooms with three beds and while everyone else wanted to do some on foot sightseeing, youngjae simply felt tired so he told them to just go on without him. they didn’t question it; youngjae would almost feel offended but it’s not like it wasn’t expected.

he climbed the bed, which was surprisingly a lot comfortable than he’d imagine it’d be, right after stripping down to his boxers. it was hot outside, but the room was even hotter, so he opened the window situated next to the bedpost beforehand and let himself enjoy the warm breeze creeping in.

his last thought before drifting off was jongup hand touching his and he knew it was what triggered that night’s dream.

he heard the sound of a door creaking open and a quiet “sorry for bothering you, hyung, i forgot something” but his eyes remained closed, even though he wanted desperately to actually see the owner of that voice he knew so well. it appeared he didn’t have to, anyway, because the next second jongup’s presence was looming over him and he suddenly felt scared.

he was met with his dream-jongup smirking down at him, trapping his legs with his knees and placing both elbows on each of youngjae’s sides. his instincts told him to be bold; to lean his head upwards and capture jongup’s lower lip between his teeth like he had wanted to for the longest time, but he stayed put, anxiously waiting for his next move.

"hyung," jongup drawled in a low tone that made his lower stomach ache in want, "why won’t you go with us?"

 _because of you_ , youngjae wanted to say, but he couldn’t speak - his throat was dried up, his palms were sweaty. he was too nervous to move any of his limbs. he could only trace the silhouette of jongup’s face, bathed in moonlight, with his irises and wait.

"i missed you, so i came back," jongup continued, one of his arms moving so he could write invisible patterns on youngjae’s bare chest, "it’s not the same without  _hyung._ " youngjae unconsciously dragged his tongue against his lips at the accented word. he had no idea that a simple  _hyung_  could sound so sexual, especially coming from jongup’s lips, but then he was being kissed and honestly, all logic ceased to exist.

his dream-jongup was an incredibly skilled kisser. youngjae had never kissed another person before, but in his fantasies he was a fast learner and jongup was a natural leader when it came to these kinds of things so following him wasn’t that difficult. he let himself relax and raise his fists to bury them in jongup’s thick brown hair, scratching his scalp in the process. 

jongup didn’t seem to mind. actually, it only seemed to rile him up further, lowering his crotch until it was touching youngjae’s and pressing him into the mattress. the friction between the soft fabric of his boxers and the rough one of jongup’s jeans shorts caused youngjae to gasp against jongup’s mouth, giving the younger boy a perfect opportunity to slip his tongue in.

jongup had never kissed him this deeply before - the desire inside of youngjae was never this raw, this hard to control. he tugged at the hem of jongup’s tank top, finding it unfair that he was the only one practically bare, until jongup took the hint and slipped it off gracefully, throwing the shirt on the dirty floor. normally, youngjae would worry that it would be ruined but jongup was grunting against his lips and neck and his fingers were traveling dangerously low to what was hiding underneath is boxers, and there was also the fact that jongup’s chest was bare before him, that he just couldn’t focus on anything else. 

youngjae had experienced the pleasure of seeing jongup’s chest before but never this close to his reach, where he could simply lift his arm and place it on his flexing six-pack. it was an enchanting sight, but jongup didn’t let him do much exploring because he was biting his collarbones and  _fuck_ ,  _that’s gonna leave a mark_ , he thought. he raised his ass so that jongup could pull down his boxers and fully grasp his full-on erection. 

the actual skin to skin contact had felt so real that youngjae had to remind himself that it was just a fantasy - just him, grabbing his own cock in the intensity of his dream, not actual jongup rubbing the precum leaking from the tip with his thumb and bringing it to his lips. 

 _oh god it’s going to happen_ , youngjae realized when jongup pursed his lips and lowered his head. his dreams never went this far before. he watched as jongup’s fist wrapped around the base of his cock and his mouth closed around his length until it hit the back of his throat. youngjae was pretty proud of his average size and that it could fit jongup’s mouth comfortably. 

when jongup’s head started bobbing up and down, slowly at first and then gradually picking up speed, his hand flew to his mouth to stop any lewd sounds from escaping. jongup was just  _too_  good. he flicked his skillfully and moved his tongue in a way that made youngjae’s eyes roll back into their sockets and his head to push into the pillow, bending at an unnatural angle.

he was sucking and licking and his fingers never stopped working, not even a second. it was getting more and more difficult to control the muffled moans; youngjae wanted nothing more than to be vocal, to call jongup’s name as he pushed him over the edge. he was so,  _so_  close…

until the warmth disappeared completely. youngjae was terrified of opening his eyes, of waking up to a harsh reality that he was alone in his hostel room, with his hand down his boxers, but then he heard the boy speak in a commanding voice.

"not until you beg."

youngjae let his hand fall from his mouth to lie limply next to him.

"i want to hear you  _beg_ , hyung.” 

"please," youngjae moaned, quietly.

"louder." 

"please," he repeated, not even embarrassed that his voice cracked into a needy whine, "please, jongup."

it was only a bit louder, but it was enough for jongup to start moving his wrist again and the heat inside of youngjae’s lower belly begging for release forced him to plead pathetically. “oh, please,  _please_ jongup,” he writhed, “please do it with your mouth, oh  _god_ …”

his lips were wrapped around him again and it didn’t take much than a few jerky movements and expert licks for the world to start collapsing around him and his toes to curl as jongup’s hand carried him through his orgasm.

he watched through hazy eyes as jongup swallowed his cum, frowning in displeasure at the salty aftertaste. he wanted to pet his cheeks and just kiss him so he could taste himself on his tongue and whisper how much he likes him against his lips, but loud knocking interrupted him.

his head snapped to the direction of the door and he heard a familiar voice speaking.

"hyung?" it was jongup, but he sounded weird. the jongup in front of him was mouthing the words, but the voice sounded distant, like it was coming from the outside.

when he blinked, he was alone in his bed. the first thing he did was instinctively look down to assess the damage. his boxers were completely ruined, but he was also covered with a thin sheet which he didn’t remember doing before falling asleep.

as he looked around the room to fully take in his surroundings, the voice on the other side of the door only got louder and more worried. “hyung? are you there?” jongup said between knocking, “daehyun hyung forgot his wallet so he sent me but then i heard you calling my name and it sounded like you needed help.”

and then it hit him.

this was his room, in the apartment he shared with daehyun. the road trip never happened.

everything was a dream.

"i can’t get in," jongup said, turning the handle experimentally, "it’s locked! is everything alright youngjae?" 

youngjae thanked the heavens for that. the last thing he needed was jongup walking in on him half naked and stinking of sex. “i’m fine, jongup. just had a bad dream.”

"oh," he said it in a way that let youngjae know he wasn’t convinced at all, but he didn’t have the energy to think of a better excuse, "well, daehyun invited me and junhong to dinner, do you want to come with us?"

his mind was telling him that it was a really, really bad idea.

"uh, sure. just wait until i get dressed."

then again, youngjae wasn’t known for being completely rational when it came to jongup.

.

later that night, while they were sitting in mcdonald’s, jongup leaned way too close into youngjae’s personal space.

"hyung, that dream you had. was it about me?"

youngjae felt the nervousness inside his stomach start to grow.

"um, sort of. why?"

"oh, no big deal," jongup said, casually eating his fries, "i was just wondering who was the one topping."

he almost dropped the coke he was holding to the floor and he was glad he managed to keep a strong grip because it would only add to the amount of embarrassment he felt at that moment. 

"excuse me?"

"cuz i like to top." jongup continued, looking him dead in the eye. "and i prefer it be that way."

he  _knew_.

jongup knew everything. 

youngjae was torn between feeling mortified at being caught or curious at the younger’s nonchalant tone when talking about the whole thing.

"so?" he inquired, raising his eyebrows in curiosity as he leaned on his elbows. "when are you going to tell me the details? you know how much i love hearing all about your dreams."

.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://godzillas.co.vu)


End file.
